Episode Transcript
January is typically a month that many people read up on the latest trends. Try a new wellness practice or to. Annual goals or set new year's resolutions are made. Oh, with the best intentions. People resolve to break bad habits, cultivate new skills, or simply strive to be better versions of themselves. In this last episode of season one, we talk about the role, our ego plays in personal growth and self-transformation.
Self-help self-improvement self care.
Whichever way you look at it. This is big business. Every year, there's a ton of inspiration fueling people's new year's resolutions. According to Forbes health, one poll survey. In October, 2023, the top five resolutions people make are to improve fitness, finances, mental health, weight, and diet. It's 66% fail to achieve their resolutions within just four months.
Well, I'm a big seeker of personal growth.
I am not a person who regularly makes new year's resolutions. Experiencing similar personal results, my resolutions were loosely tied to my health in one way, shape or form. I didn't set them with intentional rigor or place any means of objectively measuring my results. Plus the new habits seeking goals were always on top of all the other things I felt I needed to get done. For example, I would start strong with a no sugar diet or a reset my alarm. For an absurd wake up time just to get a little exercise in. But after a while I realized these attempts to adopt new habits were unsustainable. Sure they jolted my routine. Reset my body. But shortly after stopping, I found myself squarely back in the ring of where I was before.
I researched the science behind habits. I have read books that have shared the practices and recommendations of successful companies, business people, and motivational speakers. But even with all that. Let's face it. Change is hard. Change is personal. And knowledge only seems to get me just a little further ahead. Listen to my clip with Kaylyn Bri white. She is one of our conscious leader wellness program coaches in the vitality exchange collective.
During her wellness journey to overcome chronic pain. She recognized mindset plays a tremendous role in healing.
Pain ran my life for a very, very, very long time and I numbed it with a lot of things, you know, I was just like, well, can't fix it.
This is it. This is a life sentence, so I'm just gonna. Whatever drink, do whatever I need to do to escape it. And then I got wise to some natural remedies and some ways to heal it and it sparked this, okay, maybe I can heal, , maybe I can do this. And so I started the research, the rabbit hole. So it's been a long journey and I've learned so much about the human body. Well, tell, tell me a little bit about that mind shift from helplessness to like, wait. Maybe I can do something. Was it somebody influenced you? Was it just like you got up one day and were like, that's it, I'm done. It kinda was like that, honestly.
So one person that comes to mind the beautiful, he warms my heart is Wayne Dyer. And he talked about change your thoughts. Change your life. Right. And I. Looked inward, and I gotta tell you what was inside my brain was not good.
What I was saying to myself was not good. It was destructive, it was anger. I mean, when you live in chronic pain, there's no way you can be happy because it's, it's like on your shoulder. It's a shadow in the back of your mind. It's part of you. And so even if I had joy that day, it still would be there.
And so I had to. Force myself out of this pity hole, this pity party, and say, all right, you can either get angry every day, you can say that you are not normal, and you can, you know, say, how much pain am I gonna be today? I'm too scared to do that. Or you can say, I'm going to try, I'm going to reverse this and get to a point of where I deserve happiness.
And so I started every day with. It was like the Stewart Smally thing. Like you wake up in the mirror and you're like, I'm smart enough and I can do this. And you felt so silly, and everyone would kind of like look at me like, all right Caitlin. And you know, it became this mantra and, but I leaned on it. I leaned on it like a crutch.
So I leaned on those affirmations to power me through. And I gotta tell you, it's not enough. It's not enough because that's not gonna heal you. It's just going to reverse that negative rumination and that anxiety. So I would say Wayne Dyer for sure was my, catalyst. He was the opening of the door of, oh, whoa, you, you know, your thoughts are a big part of this. So I started in small ways to speak more kindly to myself. But it didn't always go well. It wasn't always easy. It wasn't like every day was great because as soon as the pain hit, you're like, ah.
Man, I'm so mad that this is happening to me. And so you had to bring yourself back up every day, multiple times a day. And people would ask me, how are you so positive? You live in pain. And I was just like, I'm determined. I didn't wanna be that girl that everybody like felt bad for, you know?
Well, Caitlyn can't do that, and she can't eat that, and she can't go there. I don't wanna be that person. I have a family full of strong women, you know, and I'm the one that's. Struggling and the wild card. That's too emotional and, too much in pain. I didn't wanna be that so. It kind of drove me to say, alright, I'm done.
Six years ago, I attended a sustainability conference in San Francisco. Where I participated in a workshop on regenerative thinking with Carol Sanford. I became fascinated with this concept and its ecosystem approach to change. It her book, the regenerative life transform any organization, our society and your destiny. She wrote. I believe we need a better theory of change. One that goes beyond the heroic and do good models and that taps into develops and releases the inherit potential of every human being. To live in ways that make meaningful contribution to the world.
After reading her books and those of other thought leaders, I was like, yeah, I totally agree.
This is it. Regenerative thinking. It involves knowing yourself, understanding your mind and directing your creative energies towards change in yourself. Business in society.
Now at the same time, I was introduced to Abraham Maslow's concept of self-actualization. An individual's process driven by internal motivations for growth and exploration. To realize and fulfill their potential.
Self-actualization was a hot topic at work tied to corporate culture and employee development. R wrestled to reconcile these two concepts. To me, they seemed at odds in their approach to the seemingly same end goal. In particular. It was the concept of perceived limitations in our inherent potential that I struggled with the most. That is when I started questioning how ego was involved in change self-transformation and the pursuit of vitality.
Our ego is defined by Sigmund Freud. the conscious mind, which holds our sense of self. Linked with our personality helps us navigate through daily life and creates self-concept boundaries. That determine how we perceive ourselves and others.
And while some people believe it is the opposite of humility. Ego is not inherently good or bad. Since then I have done a lot of introspective work, which has informed my personal journey. Listen to a clip from my interview with our DRA Lorielle Jones on her new podcast, just as you are.
when I left corporate, I really decided I need to take. A moment, a hot second to decompress and say, what does Shannon ones, how did tell do we want to live our lives?
Not just. As a family unit or a career woman, but like as a person, like how do I want to show up in the world? And I was like, I have to make changes what do I believe and why do I think the way I think so it just led me down this path. Of, Self discovery and analysis and assessment.
And I thought, I was like, oh, I've done some great work. And COVID hit. I was like, oh my goodness. thought, , well, this is deeper than I thought. Um, and you know, and now I'm smart enough to know that the well never stops that. It just keeps going. And, , you peel the layers off and there's always something to work on. I love the fact that you said it, the wall keeps going.
I don't think people know that. The well is going to keep going with, or without you. But I do want to circle back to When you were burnt out in corporates, um, I can match you on that. I sizzled out like the flame got put out exhausted. Okay, Phoenix. Yes, exactly. Phoenix. Is that where. Rise up.
but it was over tears in a beautiful hotel. And having to call my mom at midnight. What advice would you give anyone that's ad burnout or sizzling out? , before they completely pancake the road, what advice would you give them?
If you think you can do it on your own, I would highly suggest that you rethink that. I believe that you. Don't need an expert to tell you and give you a solution. But.
Being able to lean on at least a community that says I get you. And it makes you feel like you have a little bit of validation, I think is important. but it really is the courage to listen to yourself. I think that we block that courage off. because, well, it must be something wrong with me if I'm thinking this and everybody out here is thinking this. It must be something wrong with me. And it just might be that you're in the wrong environment or that you're thinking about certain things the wrong way.
Right.
Throughout the season of investing in vitality, we have touched on many aspects of how our mindset can limit our ability to adapt and make positive holistic changes from a societal norms and expectations to the concept of self-love self-worth.
It is undeniable that our ego is intricately involved.
It is my strong belief that we have the power to shape our lives and experiences. And raising our consciousness may be the key to transcending ourselves. And fulfilling that higher purpose that extends to our community nature. And the universe beyond On your wellness journey this year, I encourage you to take risks, experiment more. Challenge your perceptions of reality and leverage community to learn. Adapt, grow, get inspired.
Next week, our last bonus episode with Mary Beth Peroni. Founder of radiate wellness products.
Our season one sponsor. Will be released. Our next season entitled horizons. We'll publish in the second half of 2024. I would like to give a special thank you to all of our guests in season. One of investing in vitality. I am honored. And humbled. That these remarkable people spent time with me sharing their stories and wisdom.
That just as you are podcast is expected to launch this year in connection with women's wellness Fest. This event will be held in Jacksonville beach on April 20th, 2024.
I highly recommend you checking out both the upcoming podcast and event.
Happy new year. I wish you abundance and health, happiness, and prosperity.
